Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Can You Say...Crazy?

Gosha's List of 10 Reason to Show Why I'm Crazy

  1. I don't know what I want for Christmas
  2. I have never had a gaming system
  3. I don't have any cousins
  4. I have never tried bubble tea
  5. I can listen to German metal and Russian pop at the same time
  6. I am getting a better mark in enriched math then in academic last year
  7. I use proper spelling and grammar on MSN
  8. I can hear the word "Russia" from up to 50 meters away
  9. I can hit my head on the doorframe when I come out of the TTC
  10. I can use almost any program on my PC with my keyboard only

Monday, November 28, 2005

Can You Say..Blitzkrieg??

Alright, first and foremost, congratulations are in order, today is 4 years of me in good ol' Canada. Second, and duoless, Nintendo Revolution is going to come out on May 9th. Check out Gizmodo link. Third and tri..screw it today's post relates to something I find the funniest in war (does that make sense?) I'm talking about war declarations. How does that work anyways? Do you just like send Hitler a letter saying, hey man I'm like totally declaring war on you, whattcha gonna do? Anyways, here is Uncle Boris' Urban War Declaration form. Used on brothers, sisters, roommates, etc.

To [Jackass that pissed you off]

On the morning of [day he really pissed you off] the representative of [jerk's name], pursuing his course of being a moron, crossed a line. The long-known and the long-expected has thus taken place. The forces endeavoring to make me homicidal [suicidal] now are moving toward this part of the house[room, etc]. Never before has there been a greater challenge to life, liberty, civilization and my mental well being. Delay invites great gloating. Rapid and united effort by all my cruel imagination that is determined to remain sane will insure a complete victory of the forces of action and of brains over the forces of moronism and of dumbassery.

I therefore request the landlord [mom/dad] to recognize a state of war between [you] and [jackass]

[you]

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Can You Say...Fail??

Murphy's Laws Of School (by Gosha)

The time when you let everyone copy your homework is the one when you forget yours at home

The amount of closed washrooms is proportionate to your need to go

A make-up test will always give you a mark worse than the original did

Signed forms are always brought to school the day after they are due

The football game buyout is on the day when you don't bring money, and have a test you didn't study for

If a test looks easy, it isn't

If a test looks hard, it's harder than it looks

If your group is good, someone will get transferred

The amount of time you procrastinate is equal to the % subtracted from your mark

If it sounds smart - it isn't

If it sounds stupid - it is

The day when it's -30 outside is the day you run out of bus tickets

Bad report cards come right after your parents get mad at you

Good report cards don't come

When you need a gym class, you have math

When you think it's lunch, it isn't

When you think it isn't lunch, it is

Can You Say...Painful??

I am truly hurt. Some Russian guy wants to ban The Simpsons in Russia! What's wrong with him? I think he should take his petition, stick it where the sun don't shine AND LIKE IT! WHO'S WITH ME?!

:link here:

I can't believe..Russians of all people! I've seen them a naked chick in a commericial! Come on now!

Leave a comment.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Can You Say...Boring?

Back by Inna's demand:

Uncle Boris Says: UnBoRInG

Uncle
Boris
Reallie
Injoys
Grammer

Friday, November 25, 2005

Webster's Heck

Heck=Hell+Fuck

I found something truly awesome today. The OGC New Age Dictionary is going to see the light of internet. It is a side project from grade 8, by me and 2 other guys. It is a dictionary of composite words so awesome in their stupid brilliantness, they had to be seen. Enjoy it as much as we did making it. Thank you, to K.O (aren't those cool initials?) and K.C for helping me. This brings back the good ol' days.

1) Ginormous – gigantic / enormous

2) Chillaxing – chilling / relaxing

3) Minismall – mini / small

4) Fantabulous – fantastic / fabulous

5) Dumpid – dumb / stupid

6) Sausome – super / awesome

7) Crunky – crunchy / chunky

8) Nincomshittery – nincompoopery / shit

9) Hilafunous – hilarious / funny

10) Hoodbye – hello / goodbye (used same way as aloha and shalom)

11) Japaenedish – Kyli’s nationality

12) Framazing – freaking amazing

13) Freackin – KFC (fried chicken)

14) Soonater – sooner or later

15) Meating – munching / eating

16) Gool – good / cool

17) Drammit – rats / drat / damn it

18) Whuh – what / huh

19) Yokay – yes /ok

20) Gerd – geek / nerd

21) Frenious – freackin / genious

22) Rightever – yeh right / whatever

23) Plussed – plus /added

24) Dostrader – doer / persuader

25) Dinker – doer / thinker

26) Budly – bad / ugly

27) Sneat – snack / eat

28) Stupidiot – stupid idiot

29) Bired – bored /tired

30) Souser – sucker / loser

31) Panged off – pissed off / angry

32) Glude – guy / dude

33) Girudette – girl / dudette

34) Guestimate – guess / estimate

35) Hoit – holy / shit

36) Rusianadian – George’s nationality

37) Frauful – freaking awful

38) Shap – shit / crap

39) Whype – whack / hype

40) Si – hi / sup

41) Smud – smog / mud

42) Sicked – sick / sweet / wicked

43) Fenemy – foe / enemy

44) Frally – friend / ally

And finally: Insaniak – insane / maniak

Comment. Please.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Paul Martin's Hell

Sorry guys, no history homework today, after all I don't want you to get lazy. Please, only use them as a reference, don't copy. Later on I will post some notes to help you on tests, use those. Another thing, make sure to read the comments. Often I have mistakes in mine, and I ask people to correct anything in the comments (special thanks to Inna for fixing my sloppy work yesterday). And of course, leave a comment of your own.

Now for the story. As some of you know I got my citizenship yesterday, so I am now technically a Canadian. I was 5 minutes late because TTC has subway troubles, and I had to take a shuttle bus. My mom was getting really pissed, and I almost suffered some damage trying to walk as fast as her. After I got there, a Greek judge with a major accent (an immigrant, how ironic) gave a small speech (with sometroubles), I got some papers stamped, and swore allegiance to the flag....no wait... I swore the oath to Queen Elizabeth II and her successors. Then I got my certificate, the judge told everyone how cool they are, we all sang (most of us anyway) and I was Canadian. Good for me. Leave a comment with a congratulations.

Uncle Boris Says : Canadian is on paper, Russian is in the heart.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Teacher's Hell 2

These are the answers to the history sheet from Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - Day 2

And just so you don't get lazy, they are in english. Translate yourself.

  1. In 1922 Mussolini and the fascists went to Rome and overthrew the fragile democratic government (probably deserved)
  2. Mussolini censored the media, elimination free expression, and created a secret army to "persuade" his enemies to turn to his side.
  3. Such a person is called a "dictateur totalitaire", thanks A.R.
  4. German government tried to print money, which caused an inflation and the German mark dropped (ha, moron)
  5. Hitler wrote about his battle against a backstabbing government, the Jewish, and Germany's enemies (that's us, boo yah!)
  6. He wanted to create a superior race, expand German territory by conquering other European countries and discriminate against Jewish people (ha, moron part 2)
  7. In 1933 he became Chancellor, or the head of the government. After that he became fuhrer (possibly wrong)
  8. Antisemitism is hate against Jewish people.
  9. They were discriminated in many ways:
I-They were encouraged to pose as a person of another religion (sucks)
II-They were attacked in the streets (stupid Germans and their beer)
III-Their houses were vandalized
IV-They weren't allowed in certain stores
V-A lot were arrested and deported to camps
VI-Went to separate schools

10. A-It was a solution to the great depression.
B-Jewish were denied certain jobs, violence against them rose and they couldn't buy all
goods (possibly wrong)
11. St-Louis was the boat from Canada to Cuba on which Jewish people left Canada
12. Stalin eliminated all his enemies, and sent a lot of Ukrainians to work camps in Siberia (jerk)
13. The Axe was the union between Germany and Italy meant to overpower Europe (second
part might be wrong.


Leave a comment jerks.
If something's wrong, don't hate.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Barber's Hell

Uncle Boris' List of 10 Ways To See When You Need a Haircut

(Based loosely on my own observations before I finally got a haircut. I was getting pretty hairy.)
  1. Your hair curls in and pokes your eyes
  2. You can't see people's heads because your hair block your eyes
  3. It takes you more time to dry your hair than your mom
  4. Girls start you wish they had the same haircut as you
  5. Your cat gets hairballs. YOUR HAIRballs
  6. Your bad hair days scare little children
  7. Your drain gets hair clogs any time you take a shower
  8. Your head feels heavy because of all that hair dragging it down
  9. Your hair gets caught in ceiling lamps
  10. Your hairdryer breaks

Coming Soon: New Flickr PhotoStream

Tags:

Friday, November 18, 2005

Teacher's Hell

If you're too lazy to get all the answers to the history sheet, here they are:

l'Allemagne - Adolf Hitler
l'Italie - Benito Mussolini
Le Japon - Emperor Hirohito
La Grande-Bretagne - Winston Churchill
Les Etats-Unis - Franklin Roosevelt
l'Union Sovietique - Josef Stalin
Le Canada - William Lyon MacKenzie King

(if I'm wrong, don't byotch at me, leave a comment with the right answer)

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Gamer's Hell +

Another cool game I found today:

(with an actual link)

Tangram Game

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Gamer's Hell

Uncle Boris' List of 10 Games and 5 Websites


These flash games are so original, haxx0r and just pain kick-ass everyone should have a play.



http://files.deviantart.com/f/2004/188/8/7/gridgame.swf - my high - 1064

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/games/tmaas.html - my high - 105 000

http://www.mousebreaker.com/games/hapland/play.php *I have more like this, ask

http://www.dragongamez.com/gunrun.htm

http://www.toshiba.co.jp/digital/game/tobby_pachi/paci.swf

http://www.digitalmg.ws/games.php

http://www.stackopolis.com/play/

http://66.90.101.52/flashgames/Strategy/defend.swf *I know more of these, ask

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/squares.html

http://www2.abc.net.au/fly/flysui/flysui.html - my high - 15 flies


These awesome game websites are also so kick-ass they have to be seen.


http://homokaasu.org/gasgames/ * Amazing concept games. Ton of 'em.

http://www.orisinal.com * Amazing style of games.

http://www.teagames.com

http://www.eyezmaze.com/

http://mohsye.com/ * Amazing humour/slight violence games


Leave a comment with your highscores

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Biker's Hell

Uncle Boris' List of 10.5 Cool and Original Tattoos:

  1. little feathers on the shoulder blades, to show growing wings
  2. a knife in the back, to show backstabbing
  3. a black hole where the heart is or a black heart
  4. an angel on the left shoulder, and a devil on the right shoulder
  5. a permanent tan
  6. a soul coming out of a persons chest
  7. a lake surface on the chest, showing a reflection of the persons face, but with a different expression
  8. a lightning strike on the chest
  9. a mugshot prison number on the chest
9.5. a second pair of eyes, on your eyelids
10. a stunami wave over the back, washing over the shouldres
10.5. tattood on x-ray

Thursday, November 10, 2005

A Tribute To The Horny Teens Of America

WisdomCat Says: "No matter how good of a carpenter you are, you can't unscrew in real life."

A n00bs guide to propERganda

prop·a·gan·da (prp-gnd) - The systematic propagation of a doctrine or cause or of information reflecting the views and interests of those advocating such a doctrine or cause.

Propaganda is the pushing forward of a cause or a belief. When the media is advertising a product, pushing you into buying it, it is clear and straight-forward propaganda. The thing is though, there is good and bad propaganda. Because of school, some seem to have a idea that all propaganda is bad. Not true. Propaganda doesn't force us to buy something directly. It just encourages it.

Bad propaganda: pursuing teens to buy gang-related bandanas, and other such products, ie - rap videos

Good propaganda: pursuing teens to healthy, and so on, ie - health class

November 11th Remembrancence day in good ol' Canada. Before it, there are poppies everywhere. School, cafe's you can get one at any corner. They promote respect towards veterans, and the horrors of war. Propaganda? Dictionary says yes, what says you?

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Half 'a Work Of Friction

No, fiction, sorry. It's half work, half fiction, or to be more exact half real, half made up. Here you go.

Non-Fiction:

Ok, it's 6:30 and I just woke up to a rainy, windy Wednesday morning. Ohhh, screw that. Ohhh, I got weight training. Ohhh crap. Ohhh kay then, I'm getting up. Gonna take the bus today. Ok, so I eat breakfast, brush my teeth, and whatnot, I get on the bus. Weather sucks. And blows. At the same time. It really is quite windy out there. Time to request a stop. Ok, I get out of the bus now. What do I see? Well, I don't see my stop, and now I don't see the bus. And now I walk. To school, in the rain. "Well this isn't so bad", I think. "It's not raining THAT hard, and the school is really close now". A second later I get seriously rooster-tailed by a silver Chevy Malibu,

Fiction:
AGNB 582

Yeah, I memorized it. I'm gonna hunt that bastard down and break his nose.

Non-Fiction:

He sprayed me REAAAL good, like in a movie. I see the light up ahead, and it's white, and if I don't get there now, I will have to wait like another 5 minutes, and I run. Through the puddles, in the rain, with no umbrella. Happy happy, joy joy.

I get to the school, to the first door I see.

Fiction:

The door is locked. I am piiiiiised. I get to the next door, it's open. Ok. I get to the gym. It's closed. I am really piiiiiised.

Non-Fiction:

Ok, I get upstairs, and open my bag, start taking things out. Are they wet? No, not really. Is my bag? It's dripping... I am oh so piiiiiiiised. My sweater is wet, my jeans are wet, my shoes are wet, my pencil case is kind of wet and I am piiiiiiiiiiised. And you know what? I have one thing in my bag that is completely dry. Wanna know what it is? It's an umbrella. I had an umbrella this entire time. Well, don't that just take the biscuit. Funny ol' thing, life. I am really really PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISED.

~fin

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Just Don't Do It

^About drug abuse, Nike spoof

From A.R; on media
WisdomCat Says: "Sex doesn't sell toasters, people sell toasters."

Everyone abuses the media on propoganda of products, that affects teens and lowers their self-esteem and whatnot. I say if you're smart, you're not affected. Be smart, don't get MEDIAted.

New sidebar component : Digg Story

Monday, November 07, 2005

Potty Humour

WisdomCat Says: "How come when you say that diarrhea is no laughing matter, everyone laughs?"

Inspiration Comes Extra?

Inspired by science class:

WisdomCat Says: "My teacher is ABOVE sucking UP. Literally."

i.e. being sucked up to

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Does "Not Enough Good" mean the same as "Too Bad"?

WisdomCat Says: "Right on, Left off!"

P.S. I use the phrase Right On! All too often. Left off is better. : )

Friday, November 04, 2005

A Symphony In Two Parts

Part One: Picasa 2 is awesome. Everyone go get Picasa 2 (Image organizer and editor by Google, so you know it's good, and I just told you it is)

Part Two:

So I'm at this guy's (let's call him J) house, and some of my friends (M and A) are there too. Apparently M just got a Nokia something-something from Fido. Cool. G(me) and M (A as well) have to leave now. M needs to use the little gamers room. G want to annoy M. When M is busy G knocks on the door. WTF OMG BBQ says M. What do you want? Knock Knock says I ( aka G). You're on crack says M. Ring Ring says M. Wtf? says G. Hello? Oh hi, says M quietly. G is confused. M is sightly irritated, but continues talking to someone (his weiner?). G is on the floor laughing. M's mom called M at the most awkward moment. G is almost dead from laughter. Flush says M. J comes. J is now laughing too. Instant classic. G goes in to use the little gamers room. Room stinks, G is upset. M is too. Everyone laughes at M. M goes ROAR what is this. G J (A left) are laughing. Another funny day at J's house.

Fin.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

WisdomCat Says: Whipping a golf ball at your date isn't considered foreplay.